My decision to go to Hyderabad last week was less of a "decision" and more of an escape, truth be told. A spur-of-the-moment, get-out, buy-a-ticket style whim. In any case, once in Hyderabad and with the help of slightly more decision making than went into buying the first ticket, I determined to return to Chennai earlier than planned. Debating this shortening of my visit, a friend queried, "What would you do in Chennai if you went back anyways?" "Aside from the fact that I live there, you mean?" "But you don't live there." This I had to leap on (playfully, of course. heh). Poor guy didn't know what hit him.
Five months - does this qualify me for "living in" Chennai, or am I merely visiting, passing through? My friend had no idea what he'd unintentionally struck upon and immediately rescinded his comment, but it was a valid one. And, as I informed him, it was certainly not the first time I'd considered it. Take, for instance, over a year ago when another friend dubbed me "a vision in passing," remarking upon my generally floating presence around campus, never in one place for long.
At its most basic, this can be taken in a purely geographical sense. Staying on the move, bopping from one place to another. Even when stuck in the hostel for the night, I'm likely to be found on the rooftop - or, as with this evening, having hoisted myself to the water tank atop it (I miss rock walls). DC, Ghana, campus, DC, Denmark, campus, DC, India. Chennai, Hyderabad, Chennai, Bombay, Hyderabad, Chennai. Next up, Pondicherry and "Mahabs."
I'm most inclined, though, to take it a step further, beyond the basics of physical location. "A vision in passing" - because really, nothing is truly "a vision" if you have time to more thoroughly scrutinize it. An interesting phrase, no? If anyone slows down to take a better look, that "vision" swiftly becomes more real and less idealized. The veil begins to drop, knowingly or otherwise, and the fault-lines appear. The imperfections, the flaws, those bits of us we try so hard to cover up or keep locked away - from others and, often, from ourselves. It's all so much easier to avoid when we stay on the move.
Of course, with thoughts like that, I try also to keep in mind what I see as the glory of imperfections, and the privilege that comes with being permitted to see them. Safe to say it's a universal concern, to be sure (eg. this NYT article, particularly the latter half). Caught in the limbo of travel - especially solo travel - and resettling makes the question that much more relevant. Do we remain a vision in passing, clinging to the safety of movement and a hefty veil? Or do we take the risk and go Hitch-style, "leap and hope to God you can fly"? Judgment calls, I tell ya... Either way, the view from that rooftop certainly has its benefits.
PS: I'd say this, like many things, can be applied to places as well as people....
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